The Elephant in the Room

hint, it's literally a grown man throwing a temper tantrum

Picture this. There I was sitting in a final walk through and tasting with the Bride, Groom, both of their Mothers, the venue manager and the head of guest relations for the hotel the wedding was taking place at. For those of you that don’t know, a walk through is a meeting that goes through all the details, were events throughout the day are happening, who is taking care of what and just making sure everyone understands their roles. Typically it’s a nice meeting and a “pep-rally” of sorts leading up to the big day.

What I did not have on my bingo card was a fully grown man, in a tailored suit, throwing himself onto the floor of a hotel conference room and pounding his fists and feet like a toddler who had just been betrayed by gravity.

What pray-tell would make this Groom-to-be revert into an instant child? Well, the hotel would not allow him to ride an elephant through the parking lot for his baraat. And let me be clear, it wasn’t about riding the elephant it was about the elephant. Don’t get me wrong here, I have to admit that I was a little excited about having an elephant at one of my events, but this was all news to me. I mean when we had talked about his baraat happening, no one had mentioned an elephant prior to the present moment we are currently speaking of.

Back to the meeting. Chairs. Water glasses. His mother, soon to be mother-in-law and soon to be wife seated calmly beside him, witnessing the whole performance like this was simply another Tuesday. And then, with absolutely no warning, down he went. Limbs flailing. Shoes thudding against the carpet. A rhythmic protest against… hotel policies, being told no and (I am not kidding) how to deal with massive elephant poo.

There is an interesting kind of silence that fills a room in moments like this. It’s not awkward so much as it is a true learning experience. You’re no longer a planner, you’re a field researcher. Observing. Taking notes. Wondering how we got here and whether eye contact will escalate the situation.

I remember thinking, very clearly, this is someone’s husband in approximately three months.

Weddings have a way of revealing people. Not in grand gestures, but in these small, unguarded moments where expectation meets reality and loses. Sometimes it’s a tearful speech. Sometimes it’s a quiet moment of grace. And sometimes, it’s a grown man on the floor, waging war against a “no elephants” policy.

Then as abruptly as he started, he stopped got up and walked out of the room. He was done and done. Then he never came back to finish the meeting. He just left all of us in the room to finish it for him. Yep it was awkward.

We moved on, of course. We always do. The meeting continued. Alternatives were discussed. The world did not end, despite compelling evidence to the contrary. Jesus all I could think about the rest of that meeting was “my kid will never act that way”. I was mortified for the Groom’s mom and even more so for the Bride.

Sometimes people will say to me, “oh I bet you have some good planning stories” I almost always think about that conference room. About the thud of expensive shoes against the carpet. About his mother and bride to be, still seated, still composed. About how my mind was blown by the sheer crazy of it. About how I really wanted to start laughing because that is how I handle things that freak me out. Seriously ride a roller coaster with me sometime.

Case in point: the party doesn’t carry itself. And neither, apparently, do some of the people participating in it.